In Good and Evil, Heaven, Hell, Life on August 13, 2011 at 10:40 pm
Lately I’ve had this nagging drive to find the happiness and beauty in the darkness. I think I’ve experienced it, but is it really possible for such a dichotomy to coexist? Can we be depressed and elated at the same time (without blowing a fuse?) Might heaven and hell actually be the same place?
People talk a lot about the balancing act of nature. The sun comes up in one part of the world while it goes down in another. When a creature dies, another is born. While we damage our ecosystem, groups are mobilized to protect it. And the world continues to turn.
In my personal life, I feel torn between conflicting directions. I want to live natural and healthy but I also thrive on what some consider to be toxic technology. I want to be a mom but I also want to be an entrepreneur, a student, friend and dancer. I’d like to respect the religion and politics of all people, but my own doesn’t always find it easy to get along. Read the rest of this entry »
In Hell, Jesus, Life, Love, Suffering on August 2, 2011 at 4:38 pm
During a 7.0 earthquake in 1989 while I was living in Santa Cruz, CA, I remember a very strange feeling. It revolved around the idea that things such as solid floors, walls and even the ground are not as solid as we would hope. Things that aren’t supposed to move were suddenly knocking things down.
22 years later, living 2 states away from my entire (wonderful but dysfunctional) family and having pretty much lost my life-long Christian community, my world continues to prove its instability. Last week I talked about bravely facing the darkness we can’t escape anyway; and my world just recently got darker.
When my brother had life-threatening health issues 5 years ago, I took in his youngest son and he became one of my own kids. But 10 year old Brian has always missed his dad and now it’s time for him to go back – next week. Read the rest of this entry »
In Deception, Freedom, Life, Sin, Suffering on July 25, 2011 at 8:53 pm
In my last post I had the gall to say that I think the Christian religion considers the average human soul to be worth about as much as the stuff in a Honey Bucket at a county fair. The wicked human being is valued at less than zero, according to God, and unless one believes (and acts upon) a series of theological beliefs, the soul will be thrown into some mysterious landfill where it will perpetually burn forever. To help us swallow this nasty truth, these souls will somehow be erased from consciousness and memory.
Aside from the inevitable contradictions this idea (as well as annihilationism) leads to, which, strangely, seems to go unnoticed by the average Christian, we’ve got other problems. Along these same religious lines, not only is the non-Christian soul considered shit, but so is life on earth. Read the rest of this entry »
In Controversial Books, Deception, God, Good and Evil, Life, Relationships on June 26, 2011 at 3:57 pm
With all of the discussing and debating that goes on between myself and advocates of Christianity, I thought it would help to narrow it down to one primary issue. This is when I realized that all along there had only been one reason important enough to disagree out loud. And it was the one reason that had been unwittingly driving me.
So, what is it? It’s not a wrong doctrine or theology. It doesn’t concern a law being broken. It isn’t about the exclusivity or the heartless division that might characterize Christianity… Well, it might concern some of those things but none of those things can sum it up.
It’s about the value of the human soul.
This is the one thing that ticks me off enough to speak out against a religion that may have plenty of other redeeming qualities. I believe this one issue, however, is at the heart of human suffering. And while I think pain is part of life, I would still like to see it end in this manner for as many individuals as possible.
Because I think it affects our entire eternal lives, and our lives affect the entire world. Read the rest of this entry »
In Atonement, Deception, Freedom, God, Life, Suffering on June 20, 2011 at 12:23 am
On the last day of school this year, my 13 year old yelled “Fire!” along with a handful of other students, then opened the emergency door of the bus and they all jumped out and went home. The following email is my response to the school regarding the issue:
Dear Superintendent of Transportation,
Concerning Jonah’s fake fire drill on the bus, I had heard the story from several of the students who were either involved in or who witnessed it immediately after its occurrence. All of their stories matched up fine.
From what I understand, the bus was at a complete stop near a sidewalk landing when it happened and the students knew beforehand that the bus would be unable to move once the emergency door was opened.
I understand why this action is against school policy but I am not sure how the event placed anyone in imminent danger or violated safety precautions. It would help if you could explain this more clearly.
This seems out of character for Jonah who is a continuous 4.0 student and graduated from 8th grade with honors and positive remarks from teachers. Since he is enrolled in a grade higher than other students his age, he has felt tremendous pressure to fit in socially with kids who are older than him. In other words, he might do something out of the ordinary in order to prove himself and maintain his friendships. Think of it as a college fraternity initiation or other possible ways you might be able to relate. Read the rest of this entry »
In Heaven, Hell, Life, Reincarnation, Suffering, The Bible on June 11, 2011 at 5:24 pm
I’m not sure if I skipped the midlife crisis stage or if I just couldn’t afford it, but all of a sudden I started thinking about the end of my life. Basically, someday, I’m going to die…. This is normally a conversation stopper, even if only conversing with the self. But I guess I got tired of ignoring it, or something.
Actually, I’ve learned that accepting our impending death is what people do when they reach their 40′s and 50′s so maybe I was just following the book. Either way, I am happy to say that I have found peace when it comes to closing my eyes on this life as I know it.
I mean, I’d prefer not to fall 40,000 feet to my death in an explosion of fire or lose a long drawn out wrestling match with a ferocious animal, but no matter what happens, I know that everything and everyone are going to be okay.
Somehow I had avoided the whole topic of dying for four decades. Maybe I thought in the back of my mind that I would be the one person to defy death. Or maybe I just believed that I was going to heaven and that was that. There was no need to concern myself on the matter any further. I made a rash decision based on perhaps some many quick decisions made before me. Read the rest of this entry »
In Deception, Everything Else, Free Will, Good and Evil, Life on June 5, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Everyone loves a good success story or sports team or fictional hero. This is because we can identify with the elevation just enough to feel that it could actually be ourselves in that role. We can also conveniently avoid the hard work or suffering it took to achieve that status of success. But the essential reality of it, as far as we’re concerned, only takes place in our genius of a mind.
I think it’s perfectly human to dream and it can be healthy too. My kids used to role play when they were younger and it often involved doing something their undeveloped selves were incapable of yet doing. My daughter would walk around the house pretending to clean it while animatedly talking to a pretend friend with a toy phone. (Kids can be an entertaining reflection of their parents.)
My own daydreams can give me a glimpse into the desires of my deepest soul. They often thankfully point the way to the direction I’d like to go. Gurus teach us to discover those soul dreams and manipulate the mind so that positive actions will naturally follow….
But I’ve also noticed that my hopes and dreams can be entirely misleading. Read the rest of this entry »
In Freedom, Good and Evil, Life, Love, Relationships, Sin, Suffering on May 28, 2011 at 6:07 am
One of the happiest days of my life was when my ex-husband and I separated. (It was one of his happiest days too.) After I had accepted the fact that our kids would be fine (and they are) a whole new world opened up to me.
Just a year later I decided that all Christian churches were essentially the same and that I couldn’t give any more of my Sundays to the institution. Even though I saw the break up of my family and then I walked away from my church community, I must have been one of the happiest people on the planet.
The freedom was almost overwhelming. Sure, there was some fear. How was I going to support myself? Was it safe out there alone? Will I be able to make new friends? But otherwise, there were so many things to do, places to see, subjects to study and thoughts to think that I didn’t know where to begin. I was like a kid who just found a chest full of treasure.
At first I tried to follow all of my heart’s desires. The only problem was that I didn’t know what those were exactly. I needed some trial and error. I had spent so many years making “God’s desires” my own that I had no idea what was in my own soul. I didn’t know how to connect with it either. Plus, there was always a lurking fear of what I might find. Read the rest of this entry »
In Life, Relationships on May 15, 2011 at 12:17 pm
I think the idea of removing God from our lives would probably scare the crap out of some people. I would have resisted it myself not too long ago, but I’m at a different place in my life now – not a place of Atheism, but a state of more peace as far as God things are concerned, than where I was before.
Allow me to explain.
After a thirty plus year relationship with Christianity, I decided to exit it. But a Christian can’t just say goodbye and walk out the door. The teachings and doctrines I heard and studied are still very much a part of at least my subconscious blueprint called the mind. I’ve had to come to terms with these beliefs just to let them go.
Thus, the incessant Facebook statuses and blogging on my part. I’ve had to talk a lot (re: complain a lot) about Christianity just to get past Christianity, and for a while it seemed that it was never going to go away. I realized that the only way for me to get untangled from its sticky web was to accept it. And reconciling my soul with what I believe are some very soul-damaging doctrines has not been an easy battle. Read the rest of this entry »
In Deception, Everything Else, Freedom, God, Life, Politics on April 2, 2011 at 2:33 pm
I don’t see much of a difference between an oppressive government and the institutional Christian church system. Both enforce far too much control over their subjects, creating a system of slavery. And it becomes even more tragic when we actually pay these systems to do so.
The control comes in the form of mind slavery. A government which requires compulsory attendance to an educational system begins enslaving the mind from a young, formative age. The citizen is conditioned to believe that they are dependent upon the system in order to survive in the world. In exchange for your mind, you are promised a job or career with retirement and security benefits.
Churches also condition the minds of the young. In exchange for your commitment to a certain church denomination, you can attain eternal life. Church members are led to believe that they could grow in their spiritual vitality as long as they didn’t miss too many Sundays at church. Read the rest of this entry »